repost from facebook

Because in all likelihood facebook will be phased out of my life, I wanted to preserve this... It's from last February (2011).

I let my focus shift from things above, to things on earth. 

My joy vanished, and I sought and grasped at fleeting happiness. 

I hardened my heart to protect myself. You can't hurt what you can't touch. 

Satan sowed seeds of bitterness in the hard soil of my heart where they thrive.

I tamped them in with rationalization that it just wasn't fair.

I waited for bitterest fruit to appear to further insulate my heart from others. 

I watered those seeds with angry tears, and felt the roots begin to push down. 

A conviction began to grow in my heart that I didn't want to taste the fruit of bitterness.

I didn't want to further insulate my hard, hurting heart. 

More tears began to water the soil, but this time the Holy Spirit worked to soften the soil. 

Honest prayer began to fracture the soil, disrupting the root system of bitterness. 

As my heart softened, words of wisdom poured in like sunlight after a storm. 

Brilliant light illuminated the bitter tree, killing it instantly. 

Now the plow of confession uproots the final vestiges of bitterness. 

Light from the Son now floods my heart, illuminating the fruit that remains. 

One by one I throw the bitterness on the fires of confession. 

They are nothing in the light of Christ. 

Now my heart is malleable and soft once again, ready for Him to shape. 

I won't pretend that was some great piece of literature I just put there. But it's the most concise way I could write what I've been experiencing of late. The frustration of following my own path and the illuminating of my sin and subsequent JOY in being reminded where my joy is truly found: At the feet of Jesus. The ultimate Bridegroom. The only sufficient source of joy and hope and contentment.