I should be in bed right now. I should be asleep. Instead I'm strangely awake. I could go for another couple hours, but I know I'll loathe my decision in the morning.
God's really been working actively in my heart over a very short period of time. The outcome is that I feel incredibly close to him right now. Praise God!! I feel incredibly drawn to pray: throughout the day, for myself, for others, for peace, for discernment, for many things! I was driving home tonight, flipping through the radio stations, feeling that I should pray, but trying to just relax and wind down. After fighting internally for a moment, I shut off the radio and began talking to God about community group, lifting up prayers from there, praising Him for the conversation and truth that was spoken, thanking Him for putting me there... It just flowed. Prayer for me just does. not. flow. It does not come naturally. I feel like I develop a speech impediment and my IQ drops significantly and my vocabulary goes from above average to toddler-esque. Not tonight. It was encouraging and empowering. Wow, God. You can even govern my prayer and give me words to pray. Wow. Awesome!
So that led me to meditate on His goodness. My favorite hymn is "Be Thou My Vision". As I was singing this over and over for the last few minutes of my ride, it struck me how much I want this kind of prayer and worship to be part of my community life. I don't want it to be restricted to Sunday mornings. I don't want my times of corporate fellowship through prayer to be limited to a couple minutes here and there. I crave this. God can do big things through prayer, and for a borderline introvert like me, prone to isolation, it's both exciting and terrifying.
Still, I'm excited, so I'm typing this out in hopes that I will be able to sleep once I've committed it to writing and shared it. I don't want to pass on this initial excitement. I would love to host semi-regular gatherings to pray and sing. I had a dear friend who did this when I was back in Athens. I regret to say I never attended, and I've since regretted that decision to let my own fears of praying in public keep me from such a sweet time of fellowship, unity, and worship of our amazing Creator!
Tonight I'm being bold, and putting it out there. If you play an instrument, I could sure use you to join me in this venture. If you're at all interested in coming together for some worship through song and prayer, please e-mail me and we'll figure out a time! I'm not sure how often...maybe just monthly to start?
I could go on and on, but I'll leave it there. Please message me or comment if you're interested!
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